This topic contains 8 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by 
eve 11 years, 2 months ago.
When Stephen was told he had about 2 years left. He decided (in his words) he would have "a mid life end of life crisis". He bought a mid 80s classic Jag. So low on the ground he had to push me out of the darn thing.
I sold his Navara practically straight away as it was parked outside the house and the tax etc. was running out. I had no problem seeing that go. It was "a work bus"
His Jag has sat on our little drive since Stephen died. His "2 year" prognosis was not to be and he died 4 weeks later. During that 4 weeks he was so pleased with his new toy. He only got to drive it 4 times, but each time he drove it he beamed.
Today it is being picked up and I am dreading it. I know the people that are dealing with it (have done for years) and the owner of the company has already phoned me to ask if I would rather be out when they come.
I have chosen to be here as I think it would be worse to come home and find it gone. I have been in tears already this morning and I know it will be very upsetting to see Stephen's "toy " taken away.
I am trying to be positive after all it means I can put my car on the drive (it is only big enough for one vehicle)and it is another thing I don't have to worry about, but it is another little bit of him gone.
Well enough of this. I am washing everything in sight ready for my trip to France next week and am starting to shop for stuff I need for France. I love their food and produce and their cheeses are lovely but I just have to take some extra mature Cheddar with me. What on earth else would you have for cheese on toast?
Gillxx
Hi Gill
Another first!!!!!make sure you take a photo of it,for memories
If you do not want to take cheddar with you,there is a cheese,think its made on west coast but sold in all Leclerc supermarkets ,look for packed cheese name Ozzy.taste just like cheddar
Don't forget Deep Breaths Eve
Hi Eve,
La Maison du Puits is in the middle of La Creuse, in the region of Limousin. Very, very rural. No Cheddar:-(
About 4k away there is a smallish Carrefour, a pharmacy and a very expensive and classy Brico shop. Anything else (including Leclerc) is about half a day's drive.
When we first decided to buy in France we looked at all the places that were popular. The Dordogne, Provence etc. HOW MUCH? We just kept moving on until we found somewhere vaguely affordable.
It may sound like sour grapes but we were both so pleased that we were not in the "popular places". It turned out we were the only English, and not in some sort of enclave. We made a point of inviting all neighbours in to have a look at the building/updating work that Stephen was doing. They are all soo nosy. They even slow down in the summer when we have our door open just to stare at us eating our lunch sitting at our large old scrubbed, pine table. We went to every fete and fair in the village (3 stalls and a little children's ride 🙂
We started to get invited to pre lunch "aperos" and invited them back. One elderly neighbour now moved to Paris to be looked after by her son and Daughter in Law (she is over 100) would sample our "nibbles" and say (in French) this is English???? (strong cheddar our local butcher's sausages cut into bite size pieces, tiny slices of home made quiche) "but it is delicious!!!!! I baked her a cake and a savoury tart that always goes down well in my family and again she was amazed that an English woman could cook:-)
Mind you years ago Paulette baked. In the summer everybody's doors were left open. If we were upstairs we often came down to find a very yummy cake on the kitchen table.
When Stephen first got mm he wanted nobody to know he was ill. The one exception was our village, la Celle sous Gouzon. We could not travel while he was receiving treatment, but he hated the idea that they may believe we just got tired of it and could not be bothered any more, so I contacted a neighbour's son who lives in Paris and has quite good English and explained.
He conveyed to me all the messages from the village. It was all hope and prayers.
When Stephen died I emailed Bernard and he let everybody know. 9 months after Stephen died I went back with a friend and the dogs. I have lost count of the people that turned up on the doorstep to hug me, kiss me and cry. Of course them crying set me off, but I so appreciated their sympathy.
Anyway this waffle has gone right off the cheese thing, so thank you very much Eve for your tip, but my cool box will contain, Collier's Extra Mature Cheddar, Cadbury's dairy milk chocolate, mature Cheddarie Spread and Saint Agur Blue Cheese Spread. Crazy. It is French but you cannot buy it over there. In a block? You can buy it but not as a spread. Great on bread or crackers but on jacket potatoes? mmm !!!!!
Love from Gill xx
PS Jag went this morning. Many tears xxx
I love your missives Gill, keep them coming.
Best of luck on your trip to France.
My kindest Regards – Vasbyte
Davod
Dear Gill I think you are doing brilliantly. I cant even get rid of Michaels clothes. I take them out of the wardrobe fold them neatly and then put them all back again. I know its only six months since I lost Michael but I feel as though im going backwards
Take Care
Suex
Dear Gill,
I think you are doing brilliantly too. After two and a half years I still have problems selling anything that belonged to Patrick. I find having a "conversation" with him helps – he was so practical and I can hear him answering "what on earth are you keeping that for?"
Sue I still have all of Patrick's clothes in the wardrobe too, you are not going backwards it's all part of the grieving process.
Gill, I understand the cheese – but what about Marmite surely you are going to take a jar with you!!
Love Tina
XX
Hi Gill,
I can empathise about the Jag and it no doubt held a lot of promise and enjoyment for Stephen. But may be it's worth thinking it as some sought of picture of Dorian Gray. As the car sits there and rots and gets old, you will have your memories of Stephen as he was. The car will just rust away looking very tired and decrepid. Get rid sooner than later so that you only have 'youthful memories' I hope you understand what I mean.
As for France, my sister moved there with her late husband. Our mother is French so she is fluent which helped but she found everyone in the village was fantastic even before he was diagnosed with Prostrate Cancer. I may be biased because i think the French are so maligned by xenophobic Brits. My Aunts, Cousins and Uncles in France have been such a support and a god send since my diagnosis. What I will say is that you just have to make sure you stay on the right side of Monsieur le Mayor. The French still know the importance of community living and support. They will be there for you I am sure, so no fears, enjoy your trip and perhaps teach them a bit more about English gastronomic delights.
Hi. my Eddie passed away 6 months ago. he also had his toy. It was an MGA roadster. He had restored it over the last few years and only drove it a few times. I wanted to pass it onto our grandson aged4yrs, Eddie always said It was an expensive hobby and needed regular maintenance. After he died we tried to start it and it flooded. Then I decided to sell it after 6 weeks. Our garage is now full of all sorts of things. The day it went was hard but I have not regretted it. I have many photos of it and the previous car he restored. I have not missed it I couldn't get out of it. Sitting so low was not for me. I miss Eddie every day but the car means nothing to me. It went to London so I will never see it locally.
Hi Gill
Well you know what I am like!!!
Slims toy was a Motorhome,we had different ones over 20 years starting with an old VW the last one we bought in August 2010 ,6 months befor Slim was diagnosed,which was a Concorde Carrisma a beautiful van,8 metres 4 1/2 tons ,the dream van.alas not to be used much,we did take it to France when Slim got remission,but it was hard work.
When Slim started his third round of Chemo,I. Suggested we sell it,buy a smaller one that we could use for day outs,weekends,and the odd weeks away,we were both sad to see a lovely van go,but me being very practical looked to the future,:-|
Well we have are new Auto Sleeper,very practical,I can take Slim out for a longer time,because he can lie down,plus fridge allows cold drinks plus bacon butties ,his condition does not allow it to happen very often,but we do have wonderful memories of all the travelling we did.
Now Saint Agur,a bottle of wine watching the sun go down!!!! That's my world!!! And I so miss it. Gill when you get to your French house sit and raise a glass,and enjoy.:-) Eve
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