[hmjParticipant]

Hi Bernard,

 

Thank you for your reply to my post. Very happy to hear things are moving in the right direction and that treatment has put you in remission. My dad got 7years after the first transplant,aim for that and keep postive. Please take your time getting back to a bit more normality,it’s a huge knock on you body,allow yourself time to recover and create new goals to focus on. I think it’s better to be diagnosed younger,your body can fight more.47 is young for the disease and I believe from experience that this will stand you in good stead to walk you daughter down the aisle. That can be something to give you strength whenever you have some low points. Have you spoken much with your kids about your mm? It’s always a difficult conversation but if you feel able I think it will help them. My dad’s thing was to treat the disease like an inconvenience and he never really talked with us about it. That was his way but as we got older I would have liked to talk more. I mean he always spoke about his treatment and when check ups were,but he never really spoke about any fears or anything. Only in the last few weeks did I see a big difference in his outlook. Your kids will give you the strength to fight on,even on the hard days. Please keep in touch,let me know how you are,and thank you for your kind words about my dad.

best

Heather

[hmjParticipant]

Hi Gill,

 

I have not been on here for a while so just read your post now, and I was sorry to read about your husband. I look forward to a day when everyone who is treated for this disease can be given a longer life, a cure even. Its such a varying disease, 4 years is not enough time. I hope that you are managing life ok, i hear that life becomes more bearable as time goes on but I will be a long time before i experience that.

 

Take care

hmj

[hmjParticipant]

Please do try to keep positive, my dad lived for 19 years after first diagnosis and this was in  1995 and treatment has now come so far so i hope that people can live longer and better lives with this disease. Its a worrying time for your husband and family, keep strong and keep talking

 

best

hmj

[hmjParticipant]

Hi Rhiannon,

I lost my dad to MM in July. He was diagnosed at 44 and died aged 63, which was an amazing length of time, one which i hope other sufferers can follow. I grew up from age 12 with my dads illness and even then we found it difficult to talk about it, i think mainly due to them wanting to protect you, something all parents want to do. Also it is a very scary time for him, so he is maybe just trying to get his own thoughts and feelings under control before feeling comfortable to talk about the situation. In all honesty though, my dad never spoke with us about it, it was his way of coping and you might have to prepare yourself for that type of situation. For some people its better to just look forward, and not discuss their fears or concerns for fear of it consuming them. Cancer did not define my dad, he didn’t dwell on it around his friends and family. Im sure he had some very wobbley moments but the key for him was to change his attitude and decide that this illness was not going to effect the person that he was, so you never heard him complain, even when things were really bad. to him cancer was an inconvenience that stopped him from doing some of the things he loved, so instead he would try other things. You have to take your cues from your dad, let him know that you are there should he want to talk about anything at all, then give him the time and chance to determine if he does actually want to discuss it. Its hard on you I know, believe me, all I wanted to do was ask Dad, was he scared? did he need to talk about anything? but dad never did, he rarely spoke to my mum either, it was just his way. You will know soon enough what ways your dad will adopt to cope and then you just go from there. If you find that you need to speak with someone, maybe someone not as emotionally attached, I’d suggest the Macmillan nurses at your local hospital or hospice. They were a godsend to us, not just for my dad but for my mum and sister and myself. They were practical and caring and able to give you all the information you need, and of course this type of forum is great to be able to chat with carers, family and people actually suffering from MM.I hope this has been a wee bit of help for you, stay strong and keep chatting with your dad, in time you may find he opens up about everything but he will appreciate knowing that you want to help,
take care
hmj

[hmjParticipant]

My dad developed a cough some years ago, we just put in down to the drugs, the doctors could never find a reason for it,and we got so used to it you sort of forgot about it!

[hmjParticipant]

Thank you Mavis,

Its such a difficult thing to live with serious illness for so long, you almost don’t know what to do with yourself afterwards, like cancer was our 5th family member, always hanging around in the backgroud waiting to show its face again. But people do beat the odds and I hope that one day this will not just be a treatable disease, that it will be a curable disease and that it comes around soon to lessen the pain and worry of those fighting it and those watching their loved ones fighting it.
h x

[hmjParticipant]

Thanks Tony,

I hope it does help the other people living and fighting this disease, a strong mind can do wonders,

best

hmj

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